so what am I doing here exactly?
This is basically my outward world journal of my brain to the internet. I am trying to evaluate my childhood conditioning, the potential of narratives I have created and understanding acceptance and its place in becoming more present and attuned to the now. I have been thinking about how I am still reacting in the past and not to the event at present. My reaction is stored from the past moment, not the present moment.
. . .
Little did I realize how much I was living in the past. Our past often informs our way of being or behaving in the present moment. Our past often makes its way into our present in innumerable intangible ways. I blocked off parts of my past for so long and in many ways rejected parts of my life that clearly happened.